What the hell is Hollywood thinking? In the past decade there have been far too may remakes! Dawn Of The Dead, Haloween, The Eye, The Hills Have Eyes, The Hills Have Eyes 2, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Omen! Oh, I just noticed something, THEY’RE ALL FUCKING HORROR MOVIE REMAKES! What’s next? The Blues Brothers starring George Lopez and Abe Viggoda! Jesus Christ!
The most origional films to come out in the past few years is Tenacious D: The Pick Of Destiny. Two guys who meet at aboard walk and go on a quest to find a guitar pick made out of Satans tooth. Thats it.
Martin Scorsese made The Departed which I am actually watching right now which is a great film. However, it was based on a Japanese film called Internal Affairs.
And the thing is is that there are a lot of Japanese films being remade for American audiances. I’m sorry, raped for American audiances. There was a film that came out in 2003 called Oldboy. It’s ranked high on IMDB’s list of the greatest films of all time. Within the top 50. Now, it’s going to be remade and I’m going to make a prediction. It fails in the box office.
Here is my question… why not just release the origional film? Keep the origional Japanese soundtrack and just add captions! But then again most people would be turned off by the idea of going to a movie that is welll made a reading captions to understand what is being said. Not here! Not in America! We don’t go to movies to read! Reading is for faggots! (He said in a redneckish, slightly retarded voice.)
I will say this though. There is one trilogy that really need to be remade. The Star Wars Trilogy. Not the origionals but the new ones. Episodes one, two and three need to be wiped off of the face of the planet and redone. Now lets just forget about the bad acting. The movies are a contradiction to the origional films. Sit back and watch all six of them, that is if your able to stay awake through Attack Of The Shit!
You know what would have made the films better. More Sam Jackson! But not the toned down version. I want to hear him scream “I’m getting tired of the motherfucking sith in the motherfucking senate!” That would be great! Or when he puts the lightsaber up to Christopher Lee’s throat near the end of Attack Of The Shit he says “Don’t fucking move Douku, of I will cut your damn head off.” The only thing that would add to that would be a “beyach”.
Oh how I am begining to loathe movies now.
